Being impatient
Having a restlessness borderline with fear.
I am waiting to receive my first pay check as a retired women. I don’t know yet the sum of money I will receive and that make me very restless.
But this very important reason of what amount of money I will receive as long I do not work it is not the only time I have been impatient. I feel this way while I wait for something to happen. And I do that every moment in which I am not doing something to lose the notion of time. Every single day I wonder what to do next and that impatience comes not so much from boredom. This impatience is borderline with anxiety but it feels different.
Since recent I started a routine for me in which to do what I like in a day but also to go out and socialize, to move my body, to use my brain and to take care of my soul. And I started to feel better because I have things to do in my routine. I meditate every day for about 42-46 minutes with Dr Joe Dispenza. I do yoga for about 20 minutes and my dog likes to play around with me when I do that. I stay in silence for half an hour painting or drawing. I have a gratitude journal in which I write 5 things I am grateful for, at the end of each day. I have days for drawing and painting, others for writing or reading. I go to church twice a week and I visit my parents every other day.
It is good to have things to do. I say that as a former control freak of my time. I used to not rest the working weeks and collapse in weekends and not do anything then. Of course I burnout like a cigarette.
I think the impatience you have it, too, my darling reader. It is in the nature of our working cult to work all the time and to not do anything meaningful in our spare time. I am glad that things are changing since the pandemic but very slowly.
I hope to see you well in my next post! I tell you when I get rid of the impatience because I was not successful yet.